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A Helping Hand
Bob goes into the public restroom and sees this guy standing next to the urinal. The guy has no arms. As Bob is standing there taking care of business, he wonders to himself how the poor wretch is going to take a leak. Bob finishes and starts to leave when the man asks Bob to help him out. Being a kind soul, Bob says, Ah, OK, sure, I'll help you." The man asks, Can you unzip my zipper? Bob says, OK Then the man says, Can you pull it out for me? Bob replies, UH, yeah, OK... Bob pulls it out and it has all kinds of mold and red bumps, with hair clumps, rashes, moles, scabs and reeks something awful. Then the guy asks Bob to point it for him, and bob points it for him. Bob then shakes it, puts it back in and zips it up. The guy tells Bob, Thanks, Man, I really appreciate it. Bob says, No problem, but what the hell's wrong with your penis?. The guy pulls his arms out of shirt and says, I don't know, but I AIN'T TOUCHING IT...
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Looking Young
A woman was in the kitchen cooking dinner and she was just singing,
humming and giggling all over herself. Her husband asked her why she was
so happy. She said, "I went to the doctor today and he said I have the
breasts of a twenty year old."
The husband then asked, "What did he say about your fifty year old ass?"
"Your name didn't come up in our conversation." She replied.
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